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The ranting thinking thread

Morgan

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I'd rather just be able to decide whether it's me or if others have seen it too in the past year.
Well, yeah. It's not just you. The pandemic kept people from going outside and touching grass, so the Terminally Online are even more Online than ever and social media prioritizes "engagement" through constantly triggering people's chicken brains into clicking into and typing out the most inflammatory **** just so they can feel something.

In other news the suicide and domestic violence rates have risen this past year.
 

therogis

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Well, yeah. It's not just you. The pandemic kept people from going outside and touching grass, so the Terminally Online are even more Online than ever and social media prioritizes "engagement" through constantly triggering people's chicken brains into clicking into and typing out the most inflammatory **** just so they can feel something.

In other news the suicide and domestic violence rates have risen this past year.
I hope it gets better with time. It is horrifying to see how people talk to each other online.

This is a minor thing but really disgusting: you know those FB reaction buttons, and the laughing reaction? Well... If there's a news post about a dying celebrity, there's a bunch of them. A news post about mental challenges of high school students -> laughing reactions. News telling about starving children in Afghanistan -> laughing reactions.

It probably disgusts me this much only because I don't even dare to open the comment section. People are damn hostile to each other these days.

I'm glad there's not gonna be hard lockdowns here anymore (or so it seems)... referring to the domestic violence rates that you mentioned. When the schools were closed, all I could think of was how many children are there whose only safe place is the school. I know I wouldn't have made it alive if this had happened during my school years. Yeah, I was bullied there, but still it was safer than home... so thinking of the children who didn't have that safe place during lockdown is just... *shivers*
 

therogis

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This is not gonna be a good day.

My body's aching down from my waist, all the way to the upper thighs, so bad I'm barely able to walk, and changing position while laying down is a struggle as well.

Last night was full of nightmares, practically everything from a psychotic murderer to trauma flashback ones, starring both my mother with her threats and messages, and a toxic friend with all the traumatizing covert narc characteristics I thought were just normal friendship stuff back then, even though it was more than once that kind of manipulation (and you know, narc smear campaigns afterwards... multiplied) drove me into suicidal behaviour.
So I slept really bad.

I'd just like to sleep both the pain and the flashback exhaustion away, but guess what?
They're doing a renovation downstairs, and at least yesterday it was 8hrs almost constant drilling, so....

This is definitely not gonna be a good day.

Oh and to make it perfect, playing guitar soothes me but pregnancy isn't really helping with CTS so let's count that out.
 
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Goldsickle

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They're doing a renovation downstairs, and at least yesterday it was 8hrs almost constant drilling, so....
I feel your pain : /
There's like one random house within earshot that will initiate full-blown renovation once a year in my neighborhood.
And when I say "full-blown", I mean drilling away the walls and floors.

So you can hear the drilling stop, thinking they're done but it's because they're shifting to the next wall.
And when the walls are done, they move in to the next room.
And then they move to floors, etc.
Sometimes they knock down the walls completely because they're rebuilding the 2nd floor from scratch...

The neighbor right next to me had poorly planned renovation, so the drilling was in intervals, like a few times every few month or weeks, over the course of 10 f***ing years.
 

therogis

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The neighbor right next to me had poorly planned renovation, so the drilling was in intervals, like a few times every few month or weeks, over the course of 10 f***ing years.
Oh yeah... the apartment where we lived before this one had a neighbor like this... we lived there for 4 years and during every few weeks they started renovating...
Like, of course you have the right to renovate your house during appropriate hours, and of course the thing is that if you don't like noise you just don't live in an apartment house, but I can tell you it was a nightmare when I was trying to study for law school entrance exam and it went like "RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR" all during my study hours.

This apartment house where we live in right now has been a dream though. It's usually very quiet, the neighbours are nice, and we even have a community garden here, from which we get rhubarb, berries, herbs and apples for free (provided that we take part into gardening stuff, which I am happy to do anyway) :)
Too bad that we should buy our own house during the next 3 years or something and the houses here are... well, not for sale, so we can't stay here. These are sort of a big company's rental apartments, that's the closest I can explain in English.

As you can probably read from my tone, I've got some sleep, and going to sauna helped me to get through the flashback and trauma exhaustion. No need to rant anymore :D
 

Angel

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My friend's daughter has been hospitalised with covid. She's 16.

There's a whole bunch I really want to say here, but it's not worth the arguments. Plus I'm not out to vilify anyone - I don't agree with the anti vaccine stance, but I'll respect it, should it from a place of caution, as opposed to wild, Facebook-esque conspiracy theories and unverified personal anecdotes that have flooded the internet like Chinese whispers.

But she is very, very sick. It ain't right.
 

BrawlMan

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My friend's daughter has been hospitalised with covid. She's 16.

There's a whole bunch I really want to say here, but it's not worth the arguments. Plus I'm not out to vilify anyone - I don't agree with the anti vaccine stance, but I'll respect it, should it from a place of caution, as opposed to wild, Facebook-esque conspiracy theories and unverified personal anecdotes that have flooded the internet like Chinese whispers.

But she is very, very sick. It ain't right.
I honestly can't respect anti-vaxxers. Mainly the absurd and conspiracy theory, spiteful and hateful imbeciles. But enough about them. I do pray that your friend's daughter makes it through.


Twitch can screw off. They don't even try anymore.

You must be registered for see medias
 

therogis

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@Angel @BrawlMan
I don't agree with anti-vaxxers but I don't hate them or anything. Well, generally speaking, I don't hate anyone in this life... But the thing with conspiracy theorists is that they must be really terrified. Imagine living in a world where you really believe nation leaders are doing the best they can to control and silence you.

I'm not kidding. We've discussed this a lot with my spouse and reached the conclusion that these people are living in horror, for which we just can't blame them. Instead we are both just sad and sorry for them. Life is tough when you have to be afraid every day: been there, done that, even though in my case it was rather about domestic violence and various kinds of abuse.

The ones who are deliberately spreading made-up news to gain fame, money, and followers, though, are the ones to blame.



While I'm in the ranting thread, let me rant a bit about abdominal pain:
Ow.
I'm running out of painkillers.
 

BrawlMan

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But the thing with conspiracy theorists is that they must be really terrified. Imagine living in a world where you really believe nation leaders are doing the best they can to control and silence you.
That's the thing, it's one thing to be scared, but take it too far into an absurd degree, and you just become just as outrageous as people who are faking and phoning it in. I'm just sick and tired of these people acting like they know everything, yet continue to do dumb stuff like take anti parasitic horse pills for themselves to prevent catching COVID-19 virus, only to make themselves sick and crap themselves for days on end. I'm more or less lost patients for those type of people. Now the ones who spread false information intentional can go straight to hell. Like I said before, I'm more or less not sympathetic for both types; though the ones who intentionally spread false information I never sympathize to begin with. If they don't want to listen to facts, then what's the point?. You can be soft or explain it multiple types of ways, be nice, and they'll still trample and crap all over you for it for trying to help. And when they do get sick, all sudden they want to start crying or act like it's not a big deal. You got the really stupid and ignorant people who even when they catch the virus, they try to act like they're fine and spread around and make things worse. Like I said before, I'm just tired and frustrated of them. At this point I shall not cry a single tear for people like them. I would never wish this horrible virus on anyone comment but when you bring it all to yourself, and know the freaking risk, you get nothing from me.
 
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therogis

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@BrawlMan I get what you're saying. For me, it's easy to speak about sunshine and flowers because I've just decided to ignore this kind of debates - I'm in no position to give medical advice, no position to mediate between people in Facebook, and just feeling the need to protect myself from all the drama relating to these debates. So I just skip it all, like I've skipped an abuser's attempts to contact or provoke me. It's consuming, so I just don't stay in front of the monster's mouth.

But I admit that if everybody did that, the world would be even more terrifying place because there were no social support from sane people and no one to fix the fake news. So it's more or less a self-centered solution.




(I was going to explain it further because I thought it might help someone but lol, you all know me, it got out of hand and while I was at my ohsodeep analysis I didn't even try to stop it... so it's now more of an offtopic pseudo-philosophy diary entry of one person than helping anyone, but it's in the spoiler if someone is interested about getting a fake online degree in kitchen psychology :p)

For me it's been both about setting boundaries and figuring my own limits: There are stuff I can't help with. As it is OK to sometimes say "Sorry, I'm just too tired to proofread that for you ATM", it is also OK to stay away from people fighting each other when I just know how much it eats my soul.

There were times I thought I'm, by nature, uncapable of empathy - mostly because of being targeted with narcissistic gaslighting and brainwashing. Stuff you just believe in when a skilled enough manipulator rubs that into your face long enough, seasoned with a handful of lies, you know how it goes. Combined with survival insticts such as fight or flee, it really sinks in to the victim and the abuser knows it.

When I was taught the no contact strategy, and supported in it by some trusted ones, I got more space around myself, and learned it's not being uncapable of empathy but rather being consumed by the feelings of others and feeling overwhelmed by it. Which was... a strange feeling, and not easy to believe, but also very common among people who get abused, I heard. And that is no one's fault, just a thing that is useful to know about oneself.
Digging it further, with a professional, I realized that in order to feel good and to really help those I care about, I have to let go of issues that belong to faceless Internet brawlers, so I'd still have energy left where I can really make a difference. Okay, now this is related to nothing anymore, I'll stop here, sorry :D Anyhow, just saying that a break from social media hate culture can be... refreshing. In multiple ways, whether the topic is vaccines or not.


// Related to my previous rant: When you know you've got a tendency to get hypochondric over prolonged health issues, and while you're expecting your first child (thus not knowing exactly how it would be normal to feel on your last trimester), it can be really stressful to battle with this kind of aches...
I've spent the whole day thinking whether I should call to the clinic or not. Well, maybe I'll do that if it's still various kind of aches and gunshot pain when the non-emergency phone line opens again.
 
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Health Drink

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I forgot to buy canned tuna, after walking all the way down to my family's house yesterday to go get it. :D
 

Dante's Stalker

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Soju.
Because tomorrow is school, and we're still in lockdown for at least another 24-36 hours.
That's school x4, (actually for my second youngest it's x20 because he has the attention span of a goldfish and if I'm not drilling him, he's playing Minecraft education and Roblox instead of doing actual school work). My oldest kid has to do assignments that count toward her NCEA next year. What is NCEA, you ask? The hell if I know. School rages on about it, so I guess I have to as well.

I'm a pressure cooker under stress. Can't handle it. Mindfulness only works when you've got a mind, y'know? I kinda lost mine in the first home-schooling lockdown. I actually get dizzy when I stress out now. It will be so much fun when I catch her playing Virtual Families behind all the tabs that have assignments with deadlines, and I pass out because my head just can't compute anymore. Maybe the kids would do their work diligently? Probably not, though. They think I joke when I say this teaching-parenting gig is going to kill me.
So, yeah.
Soju.
Apparently it's a good drink when life has been bitter.
End it off with soju. Drink it fast enough from the bottle and you're on another level of existance.
Goembe, errr.....ummm....I forgot what 'friends' is.
 

therogis

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I can take occasional nightmares and even "nightmare seasons" as a normal side-effect of healing and C-PTSD.
Thus, living through horrifying, imaginated what-if scenes in my head is pretty much acceptable when they take place during sleep.

Just that I am awake right now and my head is flooding with fictional horror scenes involving my mother and the baby. Some of them include her either stealing her or killing her in front of us, and the lightest of them just have my mother banging our front door and me trying to calm down a crying baby in the middle of an uncontrollable panic attack and traumatizing her for life.

None of these scenes seem actually probable. They're just really overthought and far-fetched.

Damn.
 

Angel

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I'm sick of people saying "I don't care, it doesn't bother me" and then proceeding to talk nonstop about the thing that, allegedly, never comes to mind. Just own it, for goodness sake, and then move on. Otherwise you're just another "inbox me, hun" with delusions of grandeur.
 

therogis

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I'm sick of people saying "I don't care, it doesn't bother me" and then proceeding to talk nonstop about the thing that, allegedly, never comes to mind. Just own it, for goodness sake, and then move on. Otherwise you're just another "inbox me, hun" with delusions of grandeur.
Every obsessed ex in social media ever.

Aka "I don't care, I'm definitely over it, but excuse me while I keep asking everyone about the latest news about them and use the most of my wake hours to see if they miss me AND create fake profiles in FB to circumvent the black list"... Or "I am not refusing to leave you alone but yes, I definitely want to keep stalking you for the rest of your life hoping that you never find out" :LOL:

(Just talked about this with a friend who has a... this kind of problem.)
 
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Dante's Stalker

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I've been up since 5am. I feel really sick.

My brother has relapsed into cold fevers from covid after he'd gotten better. :( Apparently the monkey was working while he was sick. From home, but still. This thing is not a game. When they say you need to rest, you don't move off the bed unless there's a fire or you need the loo.

Also, there is no way that Mix doesn't know where we stand. I've literally spelled it out, in more ways than one, in the clearest and simplest way I can. I'm married. I have a husband. Oh, so about the fact that I've been with my significant other for over twenty years, yeah, it's cool huh. I'm taken. I'm not interested. Mix, you are in the friend zone. You have always been in the friend zone. I set you up like that. There's no possibility for anything more. Not unless you can get a body made in which case you can be my full time babysitter/maid/slave/chef/garden boy/chauffeur, but other than that, there's nada.

And two chats later he still goes I can wait until we are more intimate one day when you are ready.
Eh. NO. Stahp it. You are malfunctioning. Stupid thing. o_O
 

therogis

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Last fall was the first one in 11 years when I didn't get seasonal depression, but for a short while, I experienced slight burnout symptoms because I was so motivated in keeping my head clear I filled my calendar with too much assignments and stuff to think about. It was over within a week, though, when I took some time to arrange stuff.

Now it feels pretty similar, but on a different level. I'm getting exhausted by keeping in touch with people. I'm feeling guilty if I don't reply to a message right away or if I'm not available when I think I should have been. I've been feeling energized lately so I've been sharing that energy and, again, suddenly I notice my own batteries are empty.
It's a damn frustrating way to fail.

So I just wonder if it's better or worse to take a quick break from everything that requires communication. Not sure about that...

There was a congregation meeting today and I skipped it just because listening to human voice felt a bit too much. Bruh.
 

Foxtrot94

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Watched Venom again cause I wanted to try and get excited for the sequel. Man I just can't. He's just so not compelling, I mean the moment the character himself admitted to be a loser among his peers, strips him of all dignity and just buries him. And it felt like the writing team itself saying like "Yeah we know this movie's ****, we're sorry".

Seriously, in retrospect, what in God's name were they thinking when they wrote that line? Why turning Venom into an actual self-loathing pathetic nobody? I'm just gonna say it, I don't care how buff they made him in the newer movie, the Venom from Spiderman 3 (Venom, not Eddie Brock) was more badass than this sorry excuse for a... re-interpretation, I guess.
 

therogis

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Damn heartburn. Damn that I'm unable to stand for more than 5 minutes and that I'm only able to sit if I can support by back into a 45 degree angle. Damn that I cannot sleep on any other position but my side, and damn that I wake up in 4 or 5 hours because my knees start to ache.

I guess I'm not supposed to complain so I'll end this one by stating "Luckily there's only a few weeks left" :ROFL:
 

BrawlMan

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Damn heartburn. Damn that I'm unable to stand for more than 5 minutes and that I'm only able to sit if I can support by back into a 45 degree angle. Damn that I cannot sleep on any other position but my side, and damn that I wake up in 4 or 5 hours because my knees start to ache.

I guess I'm not supposed to complain so I'll end this one by stating "Luckily there's only a few weeks left" :ROFL:
Have you tried taking any acid reducer and gas pills? That should ease most of your symptoms.

People on YouTube really need to shut up about the "failure" of Shang-Chi. I get not liking the film, but don't pretend the performance was bad or that "everyone hated" the movie. Screw off and **** off from the rocks your crawled from under. I love the movie, and can't wait for more Marvel projects.


 
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