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The ranting thinking thread

Dark Prince

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Jun 28, 2018
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OK........time to break something o_O (my anger from google) why not start from my phone or laptop screen or break my PC just........GOD DAMN you google :mad: if you don't want my existence on your platform then I join pirates simply (I don't want this but I hate region lock :cry:) before this region lock get fixed I will definitely delete all of my accounts.
I just want like others buy goodies like DMC peak of combat or other cool things you just f*** up google so I'm now no longer power to buy anything from you so you lost me as a customer.
 
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therogis

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Mar 22, 2019
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So. My father just asked me how many people have I told about my pregnancy. The reason was that my mother knows about it.
I haven't been in contact with her. Our only connection is my father aka her ex-spouse, and my father has not told her. That's why he asked: because he hasn't told and he couldn't figure out who it was.

Well neither can I. And the fact that she knows about our child was just a matter of time, so it doesn't matter. It changes nothing and I've prepared myself mentally for it. No big deal.

But where did she find out?
Well. My father told me she has been bragging about that one of her friends has a daughter who works as a nurse and that the nurse tells her stuff.

And what makes me absolutely fckin _disgusted_ is the thought of a random nurse, 160 kilometers away, digging up my private health information from the national database to give them all to my mother.

Disgusting.

Even if it's just bragging, knowing she's thinking about that as a valid possibility feels like a violation to my personal space.
 

Morgan

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Well. My father told me she has been bragging about that one of her friends has a daughter who works as a nurse and that the nurse tells her stuff.

And what makes me absolutely fckin _disgusted_ is the thought of a random nurse, 160 kilometers away, digging up my private health information from the national database to give them all to my mother.

Disgusting.

Even if it's just bragging, knowing she's thinking about that as a valid possibility feels like a violation to my personal space.
Not to barge in, but isn't that LITERALLY AGAINST THE LAW AND VIOLATES PATIENT CONFIDENTIALITY?
In the US we have HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act) that ensures that no self-respecting anyone who loves their job and works in the health care field goes around blabbing about sensitive health info such as who's pregnant, who caught what STD, etc. This isn't to mean there aren't bad actors who blab anyway, but they, y'know, lose their job and/or get fined for the offense precisely because the information is being spread without the patient's consent and has potential to do harm.

Here's about what happens to nurses who pull that nonsense (complete with fines and jail times), here's a saying the same thing, and that says in no uncertain terms "Information regarding pregnancy and reproductive health cannot be disclosed, even to a parent or guardian of a minor patient, without the specific authorization of the patient". Yes, it mentions minor patient, but it stands to reason that if even a minor patient needs to authorize that disclosure, an adult patient should get the same if not more protections.

Figure out if your country has something like that, and slam that b#tchass nurse with as many consequences as the law provides. Doesn't matter who it is. They can't just treat someone's health as a source of gossip and keep being paid for it. The potential for them to tell the wrong information to the wrong person is too high and that needs to be curbed immediately. There should be plenty more people available to fill that job vacancy and not massively f#ck it up.
 
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therogis

ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ ғᴏʀ ғʀᴇᴇᴅᴏᴍ
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Not to barge in, but isn't that LITERALLY AGAINST THE LAW AND VIOLATES PATIENT CONFIDENTIALITY?

It's against the law in here as well. If it's true, it can lead to this nurse losing her license to practise as a nurse.
Also it's pretty easy to find out. I bet they have a similar system in the health database as my workplace in the municipality had: every click of yours, and every file you open, will be registered into a safety log for your boss and the authorities to view. If you ever accidentally open a wrong file, you have to report it yourself. The whole system is built around stuff like this.

However, I feel sorry for that nurse and definitely would not like to cause any trouble for her. My mother knows how to manipulate people. Most likely she has called that nurse with tears in her eyes telling her how she's "worried" about me and "just wants to know something, as a loving mother, ok?". And how "of course I won't tell anyone about this"...
But how she also can't keep her mouth shut when she feels like she's "winning" something I quit a long time ago. (Off topic, lol how familiar this sounds, I had a friend like this :D)

I shouldn't feel sorry though. If that nurse digs my information for my physical, emotional, social and sexual abuser, who knows for how many others she does that? So definitely I'm checking this out.
 
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Morgan

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It's against the law in here as well. If it's true, it can lead to this nurse losing her license to practise as a nurse.
Also it's pretty easy to find out. I bet they have a similar system in the health database as my workplace in the municipality had: every click of yours, and every file you open, will be registered into a safety log for your boss and the authorities to view. If you ever accidentally open a wrong file, you have to report it yourself. The whole system is built around stuff like this.

[...]

I shouldn't feel sorry though. If that nurse digs my information for my physical, emotional, social and sexual abuser, who knows for how many others she does that? So definitely I'm checking this out.
(n) to that nurse anyway. She has no excuse. If she knows her clicks are being tracked then she should also know she's not to look up sensitive information for/disclose info to ANYONE that isn't authorized by the patient and moreso if it's not a natural part of the day's work. The next time it happens, it could be an abusive husband or ex claiming to be "worried" for his victim's health.
 

Health Drink

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Besides a few active forums online, I think most of them are dead by now. So I don't think I will bother to post on forums anymore. But I know GameFAQs is busy, and I absolutely know I shouldn't go back there, because it's incredibly difficult to converse with the users on there.

So... I don't know. Until business picks up, I see no reason to use most online forums any longer. They just aren't what they used to be.

That is all.
 

therogis

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Mar 22, 2019
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(n) to that nurse anyway. She has no excuse. If she knows her clicks are being tracked then she should also know she's not to look up sensitive information for/disclose info to ANYONE that isn't authorized by the patient and moreso if it's not a natural part of the day's work. The next time it happens, it could be an abusive husband or ex claiming to be "worried" for his victim's health.
This kind of violations usually come up only when something causes suspicions, because the logs are not 24/7 monitored. So, most likely the whole case is in my hands... if it's true at all. I hope it isn't and that it's just my sick egg donor trying to make me feel threatened once again. It would be nothing new, while a nurse actually doing whatever that sick narc tolds her to do... that would be concerning.

What bothers me is that of course I need to sort this out and I will report about my suspicions, but that means my father is getting in trouble again. He keeps telling me he's fine and I know I should trust him, but it doesn't feel too good to cause a sh*tstorm at his end. Like... he's a severely handicapped man, doing everything for his children, and here I am, giving my so-called mother some fuel to start threatening and harassing him through day and night with every way possible once again.

I know it's not my fault – I've had it with self-pity and accusing myself for actions of any deranged and delusional person. I mean, just for the sake of examples, I was accused of breaking my mother's relationship by "seducing her boyfriend behind her back with my tits" when I was f*ckin 8 years old (Had no tits that age, btw). Another day, she walked on the other side of the street when I was on my way back from school and shouted "There goes the cheapest wh*re of the city, she's been doing that with everyone already, go and see how cheap she is". (To clarify, the reason for this kind of stuff was usually something like seeing a tear on my jacket, so she punished me this way - or sometimes she just felt bad and in the need to find a culprit for her unsuccessful relationship, so she blamed me).
So I don't really feel like being the one taking the blame if she fights with my dad when I report about her little info center, probably ruining her friendship. She managed to manipulate me into feeling sorry for my whole existence a bit too long.

But damn, it feels bad. For my father. Not for the sake of anyone else but him. Just like I felt bad when he was quarantined and feeling lonely in his apartment. Not my fault, but definitely I don't want him to suffer.
 
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Morgan

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Like... he's a severely handicapped man, doing everything for his children, and here I am, giving my so-called mother some fuel to start threatening and harassing him through day and night with every way possible once again.
You already know this but there's not really such thing as "giving fuel" to an abuser, as you describe in the following sentence that she accused you of seducing someone at 8 years old when 8 year olds aren't even in sneezing distance of puberty (not that that's an excuse; even if you were in puberty at that age somehow, any man "seduced" by a child is a pedo). The woman is a broken smoke detector that finds any reason to make noise. If you make the report and it turns out to be correct that a nurse was looking through your information to feed it to her and she's fired, your mother's actions in response to that are still hers. No one is under any obligation to "keep her in a good mood" when she'll be flying off the handle at every little thing anyway. She's deranged.
 
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therogis

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No one is under any obligation to "keep her in a good mood" when she'll be flying off the handle at every little thing anyway. She's deranged.
You said it well. Oh, I remember all those times when my grandma or my aunt called me and asked if I know what's wrong or if I've had any fights with my mother, because "She has called me already 15 times tonight and sent 20 text messages telling me how I should kill myself and how everyone around her is just taking advantage of her and how she has the right to be angry at people for the rest of her life for what she's been through because of us".
Usually it turned out she hadn't been fighting with anyone, no one ****ed her off, she was just bored and wanted to create some drama. She liked to have people wonder what's wrong and be worried about her. Also, she loved it when people (usually me) called her to ask what's wrong and to apologize for minor stuff that happened 15 years ago. That also meant she was the one to be oh-so-merciful, decide when to descend to us mortals in all her grace, and tell me with a looong sigh how "well, I guess I accept your apology, you're my daughter".

It feels ridiculous and shameful to confess that she really had me that tight under her control. It was always me to apologize, even when she threw a coffee jug towards my head, I dodged and the jug hit a glass cabinet behind me, shattering it. My fault. I broke the glass cabinet because I didn't let it hit my face. Like... wtf, younger me?
 
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Morgan

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It feels ridiculous and shameful to confess that she really had me that tight under her control. It was always me to apologize, even when she threw a coffee jug towards my head, I dodged and the jug hit a glass cabinet behind me, shattering it. My fault. I broke the glass cabinet because I didn't let it hit my face. Like... wtf, younger me?
I mean, yeah, but you were young then. Young people are not only notoriously malleable in terms of thoughts, they generally lack experience, don't gain critical thinking skills in a vacuum, and they're trained to trust on the nearest adult for survival. It just turns out the person you were supposed to depend on was a piece of sh#t, and that's on her for not being a decent human being. Now that you're an adult, it's up to you to be a decent human being to your child and someone they can trust and look up to so they don't spend the rest of their adulthood recovering from their childhood.

Abusers do what abusers do. They get their mileage from preying on vulnerable people and changing the way the vulnerable person thinks so the abuser can continue their behavior. In an ideal world, every interaction they initiate to turn on their histrionics would be met with "lol, IDC" from literally everyone and they don't get their supply of attention, and maybe they'd fix their sh#t. But we don't live in that world, and sometimes those people don't change. Maybe they're destined to live such terrible lives that when they come to the realization of how bad they are, it's because no one is visiting them in hospice, and they'll die alone because they were that much of an A-hole.

The good news is it doesn't sound like you feel obligated to stick around and hope that she changes. The better news is she'll inevitably find out she ruined her own life, and you don't have to be there for that either.
 

therogis

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The good news is it doesn't sound like you feel obligated to stick around and hope that she changes. The better news is she'll inevitably find out she ruined her own life, and you don't have to be there for that either.
That was an obligation for me still a while ago. It's soon a year when I finally cut ties with her, changed my phone number, and told my father not to deliver her messages to me anymore. It took 27 years to get on that stage :D But I'm happy I finally found the strength to do it.

For the latter, I don't believe it's gonna happen. She'll still blame everyone else for all her problems on her death bed. That's what people with narcissistic personality disorder do. For a sane person, it seems absolutely unbelievable how far they can take that while they still believe they're also right.

An example, a lengthy one:
When I was taken into custody at the age of 16, she opposed it. Her statement in court included:
1. How I must be scared in the childrenhome and I miss her and I want to go back home - while my own statement included that my biggest fear is that the judges don't let me stay in the childrenhome
2. How I keep causing trouble at home and how I've been harassing her with my friends for 5 years (I was bullied at school, I didn't have any friends lol).

For her, that was a completely rational statement. When she lost the case (still thanking God for that one!) she was like "well, I think it's better this way - you have so many problems and mental illnesses so maybe they'll have a chance to do something for them".
My "problem" was that I was so tired, traumatized and scared that I tried to commit suicide. I made a doctor at the ER cry with my thoughts. (I'm still sorry for that.) The good thing is that nowadays I'm just able to laugh at how ridiculous this whole process was, and sometimes I wonder what was it like in the judges' deliberation chamber with this case. It can be seen in the decision's wording that they didn't say everything they wanted to :D

Anyway, the point is that a narc has a perfectly rational understanding of the world (in their POV), and in that world, everyone else is to blame for everything. Thus, there will not be a moment when my mother realizes she ruined it all for herself. She will die for her COPD, which she got from smoking (it's "the state's fault, they didn't start my treatments soon enough" or just "not my fault, I had a difficult life and smoking was my only enjoyment") and her last thought will be something like "When I'm dead, they'll be so sorry for all that they did wrong to me in 1974! I won! Hahaha *gasp*".

Of course you might know this all. I hope you don't though. :(
 
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Morgan

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That was an obligation for me still a while ago. It's soon a year when I finally cut ties with her, changed my phone number, and told my father not to deliver her messages to me anymore. It took 27 years to get on that stage :D But I'm happy I finally found the strength to do it.
(y)

For the latter, I don't believe it's gonna happen. She'll still blame everyone else for all her problems on her death bed. That's what people with narcissistic personality disorder do. For a sane person, it seems absolutely unbelievable how far they can take that while they still believe they're also right.

[...]

Anyway, the point is that a narc has a perfectly rational understanding of the world (in their POV), and in that world, everyone else is to blame for everything. Thus, there will not be a moment when my mother realizes she ruined it all for herself. She will die for her COPD, which she got from smoking (it's "the state's fault, they didn't start my treatments soon enough" or just "not my fault, I had a difficult life and smoking was my only enjoyment") and her last thought will be something like "When I'm dead, they'll be so sorry for all that they did wrong to me in 1974! I won! Hahaha *gasp*".

Of course you might know this all. I hope you don't though. :(
I do know about NPD, but how I know isn't germane to the conversation. Don't worry about it. (y)
You just keep being you. You're doing great so far. I mean that.
 
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Goldsickle

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Suddenly, Malaysia's vaccination rates is "one of the fastest in the world".
But this only happened after we're have reached 7000-10,000 infection cases per day.

If you could have vaccinated us faster, why didn't you do this earlier, Malaysian government?
F*** you and your incompetence.
 

therogis

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I really don't like this heat wave. It gives me headache, nausea, and inability to sleep or to perform any kind of physical exercise harder than brushing my teeth. Anything more than that makes me dizzy or even causes little contraceptions contractions. (Lost in the language there :D)

I don't have the strength to even stand on my feet while doing household chores... Which I'm unable to do anyway because you know, everything is exhausting and stuff like cooking and doing laundry just heats up our apartment even more. :(

I'd just want to at least cook or something.
 

Rebel Dynasty

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So, despite it raining nearly every day since we moved here, it took last night to discover a leak in the addition's roof (i.e. the room where ALL the books are kept. Naturally). :cautious: Our guess is it had to do with the angle it was coming down. Either way, if we hadn't discovered it, I'd have lost an entire row of books, to say nothing of the damage it would have done to the laminate. Guess the hub has to use some foam sealant on the interior short-term, and seal the appropriate area on the outside to prevent this happening again down the road. (We also figure it came in through the area where the old chimney used to be; there's plywood covering it. Which of course did sweet **** all).

+I am tired of literally everything right now. People, especially.
 
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Angel

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So, despite it raining nearly every day since we moved here, it took last night to discover a leak in the addition's roof (i.e. the room where ALL the books are kept. Naturally). :cautious: Our guess is it had to do with the angle it was coming down. Either way, if we hadn't discovered it, I'd have lost an entire row of books, to say nothing of the damage it would have done to the laminate. Guess the hub has to use some foam sealant on the interior short-term, and seal the appropriate area on the outside to prevent this happening again down the road. (We also figure it came in through the area where the old chimney used to be; there's plywood covering it. Which of course did sweet **** all).

+I am tired of literally everything right now. People, especially.
I feel your pain. We were screwed over in a number of ways by the person we bought our house off - most worrying was the fact that she had presented us with falsified safety records for the gas boiler. We didn't know this until the gasman came round and told us there had been deadly fumes leaking into the house for months due to there being zero adequate checks done.

I'm glad you guys spotted the leak early - hopefully there isn't too much lasting damage.
 
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