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The ranting thinking thread

Shadow

the horror was for love
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My grandmother is saying she's still going to hold a Thanksgiving party and Christmas party, despite covid, because she "trusts her friends not to get her sick". -buries face in hands-
 

therogis

ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ ғᴏʀ ғʀᴇᴇᴅᴏᴍ
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I'm fine with the concept of victim-blaming when I'm myself well aware of what am I guilty of and what not. It gets hard to manage only when everyone else around me is trying to convince me "it wasn't your fault, you were in no position to act any way differently, she's the sick one here" and while I'm casually agreeing to that, I'm trying to shut up the inner voice reminding me that "they didn't see it, they weren't there, they have no idea about the situation... you haven't told them everything, hence the sick one is you and you know that".

My therapist was the first one ever to hear the details and ever since that I've been over-analyzing her behaviour. "She coughed, it must be a sign of that she despises me because she knows the truth." "She didn't explicitly say that my anger is justified, hence she must mean I'm a narcissistic psycho."

Also, the flashbacks are getting even more intensive and even more frequent.
 
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