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Taramafor

Well-known Member
Mar 12, 2019
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There are set rules on every forum you join that must be abided by, they aren't opinion or open to interpretation they are set rules and guidelines. When it comes to an opinion or thought on a particular topic then of course everyone is welcome to have their own and are welcome to voice it so long as they dont overstep the boundaries of mature communication.
Some rules can be more generalized instead of specific/clear enough and can be opinion more then fact if not enough context is addressed. If a user said you're abusing them would you try to understand that or keep trying to be "In the right about the rules"? Danger you see isn't the same as danger others see.

Think about this for a moment. Many people suffer in silence and fear conflict. And thus fear speaking against those with power more. It's actually important to challenge others.

I'm mainly talking about people that remain up on a high horse and never claim accountability for their actions (not even once) when they speak for others. It has to be "just how they see things". You haven't made that mistake of speaking for others and seem to know better. Other people do not. As you said, communication. But some people only do "one way" communication. Full story can only be obtained when it's two way. So both peoples thoughts/opinions are known. Half story/full story logic.

Now I don't expect people to be perfect of course. Having rules about never making mistakes would be silly. I'm simply pointing out some people can't even answer questions or give straight answers. The moment that happens is when communication starts going downhill.
 
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Angel

Is not rat, is hamster
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Feb 24, 2007
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I think if someone struggles with challenging - or even conversing with - authority (or who they perceive as having authority), that's a tough thing to get past. It can affect every area of life, whether that be school, work, relationships etc. The urge to defer regardless of the situation can be overwhelming and the desire for everything to just be fine can overrule the need to be heard and respected. But, here at least, we try to encourage everyone to get in touch with us. If there is one member of staff you just don't want to go to, there are others. We're not a hive mind and if things are private, they stay that way.

Yes, there are times when, actually, someone in charge has to literally be "my way or the highway" if it's a clear-cut situation - say if someone was doxxing on here or bullying another. When someone behaves unacceptably in a public way, the response in almost every case (usually as the result of reports by other members) is to shut it down in the first instance. Staff here would not be running around trying to figure out all sides before doing that. The actions would be stopped first and then, if necessary, a discussion in private would be had to get to the bottom of things.

Sometimes people are just mean and there's no rhyme or reason to the things they do to others - where there is genuine roots to a conflict between members, we try to look at that. But always in private; very rarely do these things remain a public spectacle.

Speaking as someone with a fear of authority (headteachers still make me nervous and I wasn't even a bad kid!), I can fully appreciate that there are those who struggle to disagree or question. Hence this thread and our open inbox policy here. Can't guarantee the answers will please everyone, but none of us here have any reason to embellish or lie in our responses. Don't forget that over time, people change too. Who I was at 25 is not who I am at 39...same goes for all of us, really. The reactions and choices we would make back then may well be different now. As things shape us as people, we grow and learn and figure out better ways to react and respond to situations on the boards.

And what is seen publicly is not always the full story - that's always worth remembering before one of us gets called a Nazi or accuses us of censorship, communism, being Putin's new best friend etc.
 

Taramafor

Well-known Member
Mar 12, 2019
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I know all too well the danger of "ones own perception alone."

Thing is Urizen has a point when he says Dante never lost anything. Strength is a choice, yes, but why is it only those that know loss are the most considerate? I personally know the answer. But it's still fascinating.

One has to wonder what would happen to Dante if he believes he lost everyone he cares about. What would happen then? Hmm...
 

berto

I Saw the Devil
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Oct 15, 2011
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Meg

Soup
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How do you change the words under your avatar? See where I have the words "She has no balls!" (A Dragon Ball quote fyi) How do I change that?
Click your profile picture in the top right of the screen, in the drop down click the icon of the person/gear, click account details, scroll down to Custom Title.
 
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therogis

ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ ғᴏʀ ғʀᴇᴇᴅᴏᴍ
Mar 22, 2019
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I'm done using the pronoun "they" when addressing a single person. I'm sorry but to me language is important and I don't like how it's being butchered on the altar of woke agendas nowadays.

When in a public discourse, I'll address people with the correct pronoun for their gender. Even if they happen to be trans people or non binary or whatever else. Using a plural to address a single individual just doesn't make any sense and I cringe every time I do it.

If you're a dude who identifies as a dudette, when talking to you I'll refer to you as a she out of courtesy. And vice versa. I have no problem with that. But no more of this "they" nonsense for me while I'm in a discussion referring to someone else with gender identity issues.

I know it will upset some people. But I shouldn't be afraid of using logically sound language in public, and I won't be. The fact that society has come to that baffles me.

Click your profile picture in the top right of the screen, in the drop down click the icon of the person/gear, click account details, scroll down to Custom Title.
What? You can change that?? :O
 

Angel

Is not rat, is hamster
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Feb 24, 2007
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It is now there and I was able to change the words. Thank you for fixing that for me Angel. Any idea why I didn't have that option?
Absolutely no idea. I messed with some stuff that will probably have far-reaching consequences in some parallel universe in the future or whatever...but at least it's worked.